How to Deal With Gaslighting From Your Boss
How to Deal With Gaslighting From Your Boss
Blog Article
Have you ever found yourself second-guessing your own experiences after a workplace interaction? Perhaps you leave a meeting confident that your innovative idea was well-received, only to find out later that your boss is taking credit for it. Or think about a time when your manager completely denied assigning you a certain project or task despite clear verbal communication. These situations can leave you feeling bewildered and wondering if you are just imagining things.
Can you trust your own memory?
We’re encouraged to be reasonable in the workplace and to approach problems with a collaborative spirit. When things go sideways, it’s natural to look inward and question your own actions and words. Before spiraling into self-blame, consider another possibility: You might be experiencing workplace gaslighting.
Workplace gaslighting occurs when a colleague or supervisor deliberately sows seeds of doubt in an employee’s mind about their perceptions of reality or sanity to gain power or control over them. Gaslighting doesn’t have to be as blatant as a complete denial of reality. It can be a slow application of tactics designed to erode your trust in yourself and your understanding of the situation. The gaslighter operates on the dark side of leadership, similar to other toxic leadership styles such as the micromanager.
The gaslighter often operates in the shadows and without any witnesses, which makes it difficult for the target to pinpoint the source of psychological abuse. In the professional sphere, gaslighting often manifests through supervisors or colleagues who:
- Deny ever making promises or giving instructions, and thus gaslight the very foundation of your reality and leave you questioning your recollection of events.
- Shift the blame, ensuring you are held responsible for their mistakes and leaving you feeling confused and incompetent.
- Deliberately withhold information or resources and hinder your ability to perform your job effectively.
- Unduly use criticism as a tool or weapon. Criticism is delivered in a way that’s personal and unsubstantiated to chip away at your confidence.
Such ambiguity and manipulation make gaslighting a destructive form of covert workplace bullying. Workplace gaslighting can damage your mental and emotional well-being. It can lead to anxiety, depression, decreased self-confidence, and a feeling of helplessness, which can hinder your work performance.
Work intensification is not really happening.
One subtle form of gaslighting in the workplace is around perceptions of work intensification. Work intensification is the cramming of more expectations and responsibilities into one’s daily workload.
Think about the number of emails you get in a day compared to only five or 10 years ago. For many people, work has intensified so much that it is impossible to respond to the multitude of requests via email or other mediums, leaving you feeling like your work is never done. There’s always more to do, which makes it hard to feel a sense of accomplishment.
Some leaders acknowledge these pressures, while others try to convince their workforce that work only seems to be multiplying, implying it’s all in their perceptions and not reality. The gaslighter may strike at any employee who questions their workload by instead saying the employee is lazy, not good enough, or has a poor work ethic. Report this page